Simple Thoughts.... Complex Thinking..... In Search For An Answer
~* Wednesday, November 16, 2005 *~
Ever since i started REAL work this work.. things haven't been going as smoothly as i hope.. things are getting tough but i still can manage. Monday was B.A.D. my worst day so far.. with so many things spinning out of control since the night before when my eye grew to a balloon size due to the allergic reaction from the seafood i ate at dinner.. i think i was fine already.. but wat do you know...
I want to take back my words about those people I critized.. I think i'm becoming one of them! The scenarios of instances which i have so thoroughly thought thru' in my head just go the other way in reality. Of how i would react to situations.. to always keep my calm and poise.. to not panic or succumb to stress.. to the one chirpy, cheery, positive people in the office which everyone would love... is just not happening... and all of the darnest things which i thought would never occur slap me right in my face... gosh.. is it just me? or is it the circumstances? or just someone esles' fault?
i think it's not time to start pushing the blame around.. but to accept it that I "SUCK"... and wake up from my assumptions of myself or the image that i built up in my own head... It's a steep learning curve.. and I'm at the very bottom of it. I hate to beat myself up like this, however it's no longer time to just sit back, but to sit up, stay focus and press on...
Struggling to figure out stuff which are so foreign.. especially with the new documentation standard we have to follow.. it's not a walk in the park..
Having have to keep up appearances, to make sense out of things and to make sure i can finish my work on time. Totally demoralized.. i hope things take a better turn, and my days grow brighter along the way.. Practise makes perfect right.. so practise and make mistakes now.. and learn from them. It's not the best way to go... yet it's the only way.... I hope i dun become one of those people that i dun wanna become... I need to prove to myself... I can do it!
Becoming the unbecome one
The one that i despise
The one which people eye
Of slow yet irritating actions
deeply in need of correction
The one whom people shun
the day I become the unbecome one....
I want to take back my words about those people I critized.. I think i'm becoming one of them! The scenarios of instances which i have so thoroughly thought thru' in my head just go the other way in reality. Of how i would react to situations.. to always keep my calm and poise.. to not panic or succumb to stress.. to the one chirpy, cheery, positive people in the office which everyone would love... is just not happening... and all of the darnest things which i thought would never occur slap me right in my face... gosh.. is it just me? or is it the circumstances? or just someone esles' fault?
i think it's not time to start pushing the blame around.. but to accept it that I "SUCK"... and wake up from my assumptions of myself or the image that i built up in my own head... It's a steep learning curve.. and I'm at the very bottom of it. I hate to beat myself up like this, however it's no longer time to just sit back, but to sit up, stay focus and press on...
Struggling to figure out stuff which are so foreign.. especially with the new documentation standard we have to follow.. it's not a walk in the park..
Having have to keep up appearances, to make sense out of things and to make sure i can finish my work on time. Totally demoralized.. i hope things take a better turn, and my days grow brighter along the way.. Practise makes perfect right.. so practise and make mistakes now.. and learn from them. It's not the best way to go... yet it's the only way.... I hope i dun become one of those people that i dun wanna become... I need to prove to myself... I can do it!
Becoming the unbecome one
The one that i despise
The one which people eye
Of slow yet irritating actions
deeply in need of correction
The one whom people shun
the day I become the unbecome one....
By Maddy Wan
1 Comments:
Gal, don't be too depressed yar? Think we are still trying to adapt to our new identity, so we might face a bit of identity crisis and stuff like that.. Sure, there are times when we feel disillusioned or disheartened, but I'm sure we will be able to sail through it! Remember, we are SMU-sians! If we can survive through those project deadlines and late nights then, there's no reason why we can't do it now!! :)
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