Simple Thoughts.... Complex Thinking..... In Search For An Answer
~* Thursday, November 03, 2005 *~
Now it seems i see lesser and lesser of myself.. I feels like i'm an evil person.. paranoid.. always supicious... alway getting into trouble/unwanted attention for the wrong reasons... maybe i'm doing things wrong.. i dun know...
Work has just started.. things aren't picking up.. considering the spare time i have on hand.. and each time taking my short breaks which turn out quite disasterous.. coming back to realise the whole world looking for me.. but then many kind individuals who say it's okie and not to worry.. with kind advise to "Enjoy myself while i can"... So am i suppose to just really enjoy or fight for my fair share of work to do.. i mean looking back.. it just blows up in your face...
This week was like a holiday at work which i have already atune with the many public holidays this week.. when i arrive at work to find the secretary whom i'm doing OA for on leave, which my very "bo-chap" senior sitting in for her.. going for self planned "amazing race games" around the office to search for things/run errands/admin/IT runabouts..
Getting real.. how real can you be? I can't please everyone.. yet at the same time i have to.. the strategic now is just to smile and be nice to everyone whoever crosses your path.. Get real? Maybe not now but later in time to come... & of cos not become someone esles' doormat.. duh.. (can't get over the fact that someone actually asked me to do his expense claim)... I hope this all surreal feel of myself/someone esle/office/colleagues will become more concrete.. instead of just mere acqaintances/acts.. of putting up appearances.. of not irritating the hell out of me... damn...
In A Times like These.. We are called forth to be the "Salt and Light".. I must tell myself.. i can do it.. i really hard.. if i try hard enough.. to "Get Real"... not put on some fake pretence.. hide behind my insecurities but to be myself.. to shed this self-protection mechanism of paranonia.. If only things were simple and everyone has no bad intentions, good heart and a non-existent of office politics.. I hate it all.. the cold cold corporate world.. my soul weeps as she glances out of this permeable shell of life... why does things have to come to this? Can't everybody just get along.. i wish for.... World Peace.. With love from Maddy..*Peace out*..
Work has just started.. things aren't picking up.. considering the spare time i have on hand.. and each time taking my short breaks which turn out quite disasterous.. coming back to realise the whole world looking for me.. but then many kind individuals who say it's okie and not to worry.. with kind advise to "Enjoy myself while i can"... So am i suppose to just really enjoy or fight for my fair share of work to do.. i mean looking back.. it just blows up in your face...
This week was like a holiday at work which i have already atune with the many public holidays this week.. when i arrive at work to find the secretary whom i'm doing OA for on leave, which my very "bo-chap" senior sitting in for her.. going for self planned "amazing race games" around the office to search for things/run errands/admin/IT runabouts..
Getting real.. how real can you be? I can't please everyone.. yet at the same time i have to.. the strategic now is just to smile and be nice to everyone whoever crosses your path.. Get real? Maybe not now but later in time to come... & of cos not become someone esles' doormat.. duh.. (can't get over the fact that someone actually asked me to do his expense claim)... I hope this all surreal feel of myself/someone esle/office/colleagues will become more concrete.. instead of just mere acqaintances/acts.. of putting up appearances.. of not irritating the hell out of me... damn...
In A Times like These.. We are called forth to be the "Salt and Light".. I must tell myself.. i can do it.. i really hard.. if i try hard enough.. to "Get Real"... not put on some fake pretence.. hide behind my insecurities but to be myself.. to shed this self-protection mechanism of paranonia.. If only things were simple and everyone has no bad intentions, good heart and a non-existent of office politics.. I hate it all.. the cold cold corporate world.. my soul weeps as she glances out of this permeable shell of life... why does things have to come to this? Can't everybody just get along.. i wish for.... World Peace.. With love from Maddy..*Peace out*..
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