I am Incoherent....

 

Today i went into JB to take some family portrait, why all the way there? Cos for poorer folks like us.. it's where you get value for $ deals and of cos where u have more purchasing power.. well, it quite a day for me today..

Firstly, my "gan cheong" dad demanded that we leave early in the morning.. made our way there for some local culinary delights of "Nasi Padang" & then even had time to go catch "Seven Swords" at the local cinema.. I feel localized alrdy! But despite setting off so early.. we made it to the studio late cos the movie was so long.. we had to walk out even b4 it ended..

Reach the studio late and then wat.. It was the wrong day! I made the booking for the 13th Aug instead of the 6th Aug! Shit! I'm so dead! Dad is so gonna kick my ass... but thank God, they manage to get the photography to return for our shoot.. phew!

As we got dressed and ready... I carefully wear my pressed shirt and the graduation outfit, at the corner of my eyes i see my parents beaming.. we gathered to take the shot.. The photographer adjusted our positions: where we place our hands, how much to tilt our heads, how big our smiles shld be... it's a moment captured in history.. to be one day hanging on the walls of our very own hallway.. to be passed on generations...

I look at dad & mom, how much they have aged over the years.. but some things never change like the smell of dad's strong perfume lingering in the air, my mom's same hairdo she been having for the last 10 years, my brother's rosy cheeks... & the fact that they will always be my family.. bonded by blood ties.. each of them i love dearly and how we have accepted to each person's cute habits..

Like dad, he is always the punctual one.. screaming at us when it is time to go while my mom & me scrumble for our hangbags or to finish up dressing up.. threatening to leave us all behind if we dun get down to the car in the next 5 minutes...

Then mom, she is always there to feed us.. literally.. calling us to make sure we have taken our meals.. offering us drinks of barley or liang teh, tea snacks of kueh or cheng teng, deserts of cut fruits or ice-cream.. spoiling us with chocolates or cakes... it's a neverending list.. our friends & boyfriend/galfriends included!

Bro is just the "brain" at home.. "hey ke, how do u link up to the internet".. "Could you check what's wrong with the pipe/electric box".. "Can u come over to have a look at this maths/computer problem i have"... anything technical which is on computer or on maths or general type.. we all look for my brother... but u dun always get an answer.. depends on his mood too u know..

That's my family.. for you.. I wonder how the pics will turn out.. hope it goes well... so next time i can show it to my sons/daugthers if i even have any.. i'm kids probic for now.. i'll probably adopt or just be "Godmas" for my friend's kid.. hee hee...

I feel i'm getting old and boring.. the other day had a talk with my best friend Aaron, and u know wat.. it went something like that:

Maddy: ...
Aaron: ...
Maddy: hey...
Aaron:.... (stares blankly)
Maddy: we old liaoz...
Aaron: nothing much to talk...
Maddy: yeah...
Aaron: but this feels good
Maddy: nuahing.. (slipping my drink)
Aaron: yep....
Maddy: .....
Aaron: .....
Maddy: life is slow...
Aaron: enjoy while u can..
Maddy: orh....
Aaron: start work cannot nuah alrdy...
Maddy: yeah lor...
Aaron: ......
Maddy: .......
Aaron: :)
Maddy: :)

This lasted for quite a while... but nuahing... just doing nothing.. i sure hope this lasts...

I received some really lovely chocolate coffee beans all the way from australia... it all in a olive oil looking bottle.. too pretty to eat.. the giver told me.. "one a day & by the time i finish it you can see me".. the waiting game eh? at least this part is still interesting... "one a day?" that's not me... I'll just go with the flow, eat when i feel like it and see how it goes.. i dun like to think, cos i realize some things can't be planned and even if you plan it, it may not go your way.. i'll just live it out day by day.. i know i shldn't live on impulse.. but that's the beauty of it.. the future comes only a day at a time.. just live it with no regrets, to just do watever comes to your mind at that point.. just go for it, cos you'll never know til you try..

I dun wanna live to some1 esle's expectations, to do wat the world think is rite.. i just wanna be me.. who cares abt those judge you when they have no rights.. why bother about the people who can't accept you as you are.. especially those you can't give a shit about.. those who just wanna take & take.. suck you dry, ignorant to their own self-centreness.. who think that you drive so you have to send me home! I have a car doesn't mean that i have to bring you back all the time.. it's out of good will.. and once i realized it's taken for granted, it'll be out for the window cos u know wat.. "some pple are just not worth it"... cos such things really irritates the hell outta of me.. these "pple" who assumes... only this is in reference to one particular person whom i thot was close to me but then i was disappointed and disgusted.. to think i cared so much for her but then til now i'm tired of giving.. it's been a while alrdy.. but dun expect me to talk abt it to you.. like wat u expect me to say?.. "hey, why u never give me back?", or "why so shallow, pretend to be so close?"... it's impossible to talk about and it doesn't matter anymore cos it's over.. & even though i may be petty.. let me be "da fang" for this once and get done & over it alrdy...& u probably won't know abt this cos my so pretend close friend doesn't read my blog...

Thanks for reading... Maddy here signing off.. it great talking to ya.. doesn't matter if you understand or not... cos i'm at times.. incoherent...