Simple Thoughts.... Complex Thinking..... In Search For An Answer
~* Tuesday, September 20, 2005 *~
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow, What a Ride!' - Hunter S. Thompson
Here I am in tears but nobody understands.. it's like breaking up... by tomorrow my sunny is gonna to be gone... FOREVER.. to the scrap yard to become mash of metal.. it's really hard to let her go... But nobody can understand... to you it's just a piece of metal... yet the only one who can relate to me can't talk to me for long... :~(
I wish i could just go to sleep and forget it but i know if i do that i will regret.. cos i need the time to say goodbye.. for my one last drive.. to take some pics for memory sake.. but my folks are out with her and won't be back til 11+pm... and i've got to work tomorrow at 8:30am.... Urgh!!
I can't believe that she is gonna to be gone just like that... not even gonna to be sold to another family.. at least i could go visit or know she is somewhere around... she is going to be gone.. for real...
I didn't expect to have so much emotions evoked but i'm a sentimental person.. it's like losing a part of my life.. that car was with me ever since i was Primary 4.. 8 years old... for 15 years she has seen my worst & best days... driving me to school early in the morning.. driving it out at night for supper.. to go blading... to JB... most of the time spent in it with my loves ones... my family, my closest friends, bfs.... The time when i was so sad i went out early in the morning for a drive..
i'm not even interested to think about my first day at work.. it was boring... thanks all you well wishers.. I really appreciate it and I know that i'm loved.. Receiving all your messages really put a smile on my face this morning... but now...
Only can feel the sharp pain in my heart... this sadness i can't describe especially to you who dun have any feelings for your car... but i do... tomorrow going to work with sore eyes, red nose.. and a broken heart... I hope i can get over it fast.. most probably when Gade arrives on monday.. but there is so much history.. so much emotions.. so much memories.. so much life in that old gal..
I'm really bad at this.. bad at break-ups.. bad at leaving.. I love my Sunny.. wish i knew how to dismantle a part of her.. but i'll probably dismantle my hands instead so i shld not try... I'll never get to drive her again.. doing my "Initial D"-like.. swing ard the corner... speeding down the expressway... blasting the music.. I hate this.... if only this would be okay.. cos for now I dun feel like growing up being the calm consolidated person.. "feelings" is my middle name...
It's like committing suicide... Trust me.. I know wat it feels like.. but then again.. I need some time to morn.. to get over it... Dun tell me it's okie.. cos it ain't... and i'm not trying to over-react/AA/#@!*^%$@.... I'm just being true to myself.. especially now when i'm left with nothing tangible... it has all disappeared... only a past in the wind.. gone forever....
One of the reasons why old people make so many journeys into the past is to satisfy themselves that it is still there. - Ronald Blythe
Here I am in tears but nobody understands.. it's like breaking up... by tomorrow my sunny is gonna to be gone... FOREVER.. to the scrap yard to become mash of metal.. it's really hard to let her go... But nobody can understand... to you it's just a piece of metal... yet the only one who can relate to me can't talk to me for long... :~(
I wish i could just go to sleep and forget it but i know if i do that i will regret.. cos i need the time to say goodbye.. for my one last drive.. to take some pics for memory sake.. but my folks are out with her and won't be back til 11+pm... and i've got to work tomorrow at 8:30am.... Urgh!!
I can't believe that she is gonna to be gone just like that... not even gonna to be sold to another family.. at least i could go visit or know she is somewhere around... she is going to be gone.. for real...
I didn't expect to have so much emotions evoked but i'm a sentimental person.. it's like losing a part of my life.. that car was with me ever since i was Primary 4.. 8 years old... for 15 years she has seen my worst & best days... driving me to school early in the morning.. driving it out at night for supper.. to go blading... to JB... most of the time spent in it with my loves ones... my family, my closest friends, bfs.... The time when i was so sad i went out early in the morning for a drive..
i'm not even interested to think about my first day at work.. it was boring... thanks all you well wishers.. I really appreciate it and I know that i'm loved.. Receiving all your messages really put a smile on my face this morning... but now...
Only can feel the sharp pain in my heart... this sadness i can't describe especially to you who dun have any feelings for your car... but i do... tomorrow going to work with sore eyes, red nose.. and a broken heart... I hope i can get over it fast.. most probably when Gade arrives on monday.. but there is so much history.. so much emotions.. so much memories.. so much life in that old gal..
I'm really bad at this.. bad at break-ups.. bad at leaving.. I love my Sunny.. wish i knew how to dismantle a part of her.. but i'll probably dismantle my hands instead so i shld not try... I'll never get to drive her again.. doing my "Initial D"-like.. swing ard the corner... speeding down the expressway... blasting the music.. I hate this.... if only this would be okay.. cos for now I dun feel like growing up being the calm consolidated person.. "feelings" is my middle name...
It's like committing suicide... Trust me.. I know wat it feels like.. but then again.. I need some time to morn.. to get over it... Dun tell me it's okie.. cos it ain't... and i'm not trying to over-react/AA/#@!*^%$@.... I'm just being true to myself.. especially now when i'm left with nothing tangible... it has all disappeared... only a past in the wind.. gone forever....
One of the reasons why old people make so many journeys into the past is to satisfy themselves that it is still there. - Ronald Blythe
1 Comments:
Gal, this is all part & parcel of copin with the loss. N dun expect too much fr others cos u r e one who shared this exclusive r/s w yr car so u wld be e only one who truly appreciates it.
As cliche as it is, truly, time is the only thing tt can ease the pain/grief of loss.
Take care gal. Enjoy ur last day w yr Sunny.
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