Squash or squashed?

 

As some of you know.. i'm currently trying to take up squash.. courtesy of lessons with my Shifu: Jeffery.. Thanks man! Even though he is rusty himself.. he try his best to give me pointer.. well, I manage to serve and hit a few simple balls.. Erm.. slow balls.. I'm still a amatuer.. barely getting my stroke right. But today i got a few pointers from a squash coach next door while he was packing up to leave...

Seems like i've been doing some stuff wrong.. I'm suppose to lock my wrist & not to close my stroke.. But when trying to apply it, i can't hit any balls! it's really hard trying to remember the technique and applying it at the same time.. I think i got used to my own style of hitting.. darn! I'm like fighting against myself instead of playing the game.. trying to win the battle of focusing on where to aim instead of on the ball, of mastering the technique of the right swoosh.. of being swift in moving front and back of the court.. I'm getting squashed from the bodywork rather than playing squash!

But, I've no "form" today.. keep missing the balls.. my feet feels heavy and lethargic.. maybe cos i haven't fully recuperate from my workout at the gym yesterday.. I'm on a healthy lifestyle regime.. of exercise & not food of cos.. I'm still piggy out with cheesecakes, chocolates & today went to "Chomp Chomp" for carrot cake, chicken wings, fried tofu, famous hokkien mee & washing it down with refreshing sugar cane.. it's sinful i know.. i've over eaten and now trying to calm down my stomach with some australian fruit tea...

Couldn't sleep last nite.. my mind plaque with thots of fear... you know some pple say you are fearless when you have nothing to lose.. i guess i'm scare to lose something that's when fear slowly creep in.. not sure wat's it thot? what am i scared of losing? there are just so many things going thru my head... you know i love my life right now.. but i know that it will not always stay the same & there are so many things that i need to do, so many sacrifices comes with each decision i make.. that i sometimes lose track of myself.. still not sure of which route i shld take.. not sure which one God has planned for me.. all i can do now is hope & pray...